How I had the money talk with my significant other

How I had the money talk with my significant otherHow I had the money talk with my significant otherOne of the first articles I ever wrote about money welches about how to have themoney talkwith yur romantic partner. Its so, so important to talk about money with the person youre sharing yur life with. It sets expectations, opens up the conversation about your financial goals, and makes sure that everyone is on the same page. It will also help you to understand each other and your relationship with money. Money impacts every area of our lives, including our romantic lives, so this is not a conversation that you should skip or delay.Ive always cared about financial stability, so it was important to me for someone I was dating to be in a good position, as well. Thats why I knew I had to start that conversation in the beginning of my relationship with Dan. Heres how I did (and continue to do) it.I started earlyI remember the moment I first talked to Dan about money. It was probably our f ourth or fifth date and we were walking towards my apartment, where I was going to make dinner for him. Dan was carrying a bouquet of flowers for me (aww). I turned to him and casually asked him if he had any credit card debt. I cant remember exactly how he reacted, but he told me that he did and he told me how much. I wasnt a financial coach yet, so I was slightly judgmental about credit card debt at the time. I didnt insult him, but I did show concern about his debt. Looking back, it wasnt very much at all Thats proven by the fact that Dan was able to pay it off in just three months after our conversation. Having this conversation early made it easier for us to communicate about money as other issues arose.I communicated my needsWhen Dan and I first started dating, we obviously went out a lot. We went out for dinner, we went to the movies, we went out to brunch, etc. At first, Dan paid for me much of the time, but once I found out how much he was earning in salary, I didnt feel co mfortable letting him cover everything (we were making similar income and it wasnt a lot). We began splitting costs from time to time, but eventually, that spending started to conflict with my budget and savings goals. I was living alone at the time and trying to pay off my student loans ahead of schedule. That didnt leave me with a hr of fun money. After a couple months of dating, I told him that we needed to slow down a bit with our fun spending and be mora thoughtful about where our money was going. I didnt want too much food and drink to derail my financial goals. That wasnt a fun conversation, but Dan was understanding, and we started being a little bit pickier about when we went out and how much we spent when we did.I offered my helpDan never really felt like he knew what he was doing with money. It wasnt something he felt he had learned growing up. So I offered my support and guidance to help him pay off his credit card and start saving. I also helped him fill out his budget so he was aware of his spending guidelines. Eventually, I gave him advice for contributing to his retirement account.Once we moved in together, I took over the financial management of the household. I created a joint budget spreadsheet so that we could track our budget and spending. I added Dan as an authorized user on one of my credit cards so that we could use it for joint expenses, such as groceries. This made it easier to make sure that we were each contributing equally. We continue to use a joint credit card now that we own a home together.(I should note that I trusted Dan as an authorized user, and didnt worry that he would abuse the card. I dont recommend giving someone access to your credit card if you dont trust that they will use it responsibly and always pay it back.)I practice non-judgmentThis is still a tricky thing for me, especially in my personal life. When it comes to my clients, I never judge them or make them feel bad about their money choices. When I am directly affected by someones money habits, its sometimes difficult for me to react in the same calm way. If a financial conflict comes up, I try to be careful about the language that I use. Instead of being accusatory like saying, Why did you spend so much money at that bar?, I try to be more curious by saying things like, Hey, whats this charge from the other day? I want to make sure I have the budget updated properly.I continue the conversationAs with most important topics, its crucial to continue the money conversation over time. Priorities change, income changes, expenses change. These can be good things or they can be difficult things. The point is, the conversation must evolve as life evolves.Dan and my situation is much different now than it was when we first started dating. We own a home together, weve both paid off our student loans, weve combined most of our finances, Dan has more than doubled his income, Ive more than cut mine in half (for now) by pursuing self-employment, and ou r expenses are higher overall. Before all these changes, we didnt have to talk very often about money, because we had plenty of it and didnt spend very much. Now, theres less money and more to spend on.We had to have a serious money talk earlier this year, because both of us were getting frustrated with each other. Dan felt like he didnt have any money of his own, and I felt like he wasnt being thoughtful about how tight our budget is. It was a very productive (though difficult) conversation, because we were able to walk away with solutions. Dan has a small amount of money going into his personal checking account each month so that he can spend it without worrying about our overall budget. He also has a little bit of money going into his private savings account so that he can buy gifts or fix up his bike. This has made Dan feel more autonomous while taking stress off of our joint budget.Now that were getting married, Dan and I are getting even more grown up with our financial conver sations. We recently went to see a financial advisor to talk about life insurance and making sure were making smart choices for retirement. It feels good to be talking about and making these decisions together.This article first appeared on MaggieGermano.com.

How to Get Motivated at Work When Youre in a Rut - The Muse

How to Get Motivated at Work When Youre in a Rut - The MuseHow to Get Motivated at Work When Youre in a Rut Weve all faced days at the sekretariat where were just not feeling motivated. Off days happen to everyone and its tough- if not unrealistic- to constantly do your best work. There are bound to be times when you procrastinate too much, lack focus, or struggle to start important projects.You may react by getting down on yourself, wondering where your determination has gone. It can be disappointing to feel like youre not living up to your aspirations, especially when theres important work to be done- which there alfruchtwein always is. Speed, efficiency, and productivity are what drive results, and when our energy doesnt match our ambition, it can be frustrating. When you lack enthusiasm, a single day at the office can feel like an uphill battle. A long-lasting motivational slump can leave you stressed out, feeling guilty that youre not doing enough to advance in your career. The effects on your well-being can be numerous You may have difficulty sleeping, find yourself getting sick, or notice a decrease in your ability to concentrate. Your mental health takes a beating from emotional exhaustion, with anxiety and pessimism overshadowing your mood.But you dont have to stay stuck in this rut. With some exploration and reflection, you can get to the bottom of whats sapping your energy and dig yourself out of it. Here are three reasons youre unmotivated along with solutions to getting back on track fast. 1. Youre Caught in the Busy TrapToday being busy is a status symbol, a sign that youre sought-after and in-demand. While your ego may enjoy the validation, existing perpetually in work mode and being available round-the-clock can lead to burnout.Operating under the illusion that staying constantly busy is helping you advance professionally can backfire, earning you the title of office pushover- or leading you to resent your job, boss, and co-workers.To disentangl e yourself from the busy trap, youve got to ruthlessly prioritize and eliminate non-urgent tasks, which will allow you to invest in work thats truly important. To get over your chronic busy-worshipping, begin to unhook yourself from responsibilities that are actually someone elses work. Practice saying no more often. When you do agree to take something on, do so with a clear intention. Try saying, I choose to rather than I have to It may sound simple, but your words create your reality, and this subtle verbal shift invokes autonomy and personal choice, which stokes motivation. It feels very different to say I choose go to tonights networking event instead of I have to to go to tonights networking event.2. Youre Relying on WillpowerConvincing yourself to accomplish a task out of sheer will is difficult. When willpower fails you, focus on creating habits that make your success inevitable. Often, getting started on a big goal or complicated project is the hardest part. Once you actuall y get going, the whole project feels a lot less daunting. The trick to staying motivated is to create small habits that help with productivity and make you feel good about what youre accomplishing.Conquer willpower dips by lowering barriers that get in the way of your beginning a task. If you have a hard writing assignment to tackle, for example, focus on getting just the the first sentence down (even if its a stream of consciousness). But, once you write that first line, youll likely feel your anxiety melt away.You can also try developing a warm-up routine that sets off a positive chain of events to help you generate momentum. For instance, maybe you have a cue like brewing your morning coffee or checking your email that serves as a transition into work mode. Many entrepreneurs I work with like to start their day with 10 minutes of meditation. This can be an excellent way to prepare for your day and cue your mind to get in the mood for work. Instead of conjuring willpower, youll or ganically move into the professional state of mind.3. Youre Emotionally ExhaustedIf you feel like youre sleepwalking through your workday, its likely youre among the 70% of people who feel emotionally disconnected at the office. Dont underestimate your social needs when trying to pinpoint your motivational barrier. Maslows pyramid ranks belonging as the third most important aspect of our mental health, coming only after physical needs and safety. Feeling accepted and useful at work is essential to sustaining the drive to stick with your duties day after day. In fact, psychological safety has been found to be the most important trait successful teams share. Groups characterized by interpersonal trust and mutual respect are not only happier, theyre also more productive. When employees have a sense of confidence that their co-workers will not embarrass, reject, or punish them for speaking up they accomplish more and thrive in their careers. To repair your emotional exhaustion, begin de liberately structuring social opportunities into your workflow. An easy way to start is by showing up five minutes early to meetings. Use the unstructured time for light conversation. This informal small talk is not just meaningless chitchat, and it goes a long way to building stronger relationships with colleagues.If youre a manager, try reigniting your teams motivation by giving day-to-day tasks more meaning and circling back to shared goals. Empathic leadership has everything to do with lifting up other people, which can be accomplished by reinforcing how your direct reports efforts tie into to big-picture goals and the companys mission.No one among us is motivated and productive 100% of the time, but if youre feeling lethargic and blas about your work more often than not, then youve got to find a way to climb out of the slump. Reading inspiring tips and career advice is one thing, but taking action is another. Doing something to alleviate the lethargy is the real antidote to get ting unstuck and out of a work rut.

This tool may help you avoid an allergic reaction at your next lunch

This tool may help you avoid an allergic reaction at your next lunchThis tool may help you avoid an allergic reaction at your next lunchAbout one in 10 Americans have a food allergy, according to ABC News. And for those who have to avoid commonplace ingredients such as peanuts or gluten, eating out can be a major ordeal that requires a lot of research and generates much anxiety.Thats likely why tech company Nima is trying to assuage the concerns that come with a food allergy. First, the start-up launched a line of sensors to detect gluten or peanuts in food so that people with related allergies could know if their meal would make them sick before taking their first bite. And now, Nima has announced a new mapping tool to advise users on which restaurants in their area are likely to have gluten-free or peanut-free options.Credit NimaNima staff tested menu items for the presence of gluten or peanut from over 100 popular chain restaurants using the Nima Gluten and Nima Peanut sensors, ac cording to a press release. The dishes that were found to be free of these allergens were mapped to include all additional locations of the restaurant worldwide.On Nimas website and app, users can scroll down to a search bar labeled, discover gluten or peanut free options near you. After entering a location and place, type of food, or other qualifiers, people can read up on the restaurants around them.For those 100 chain restaurants that Nima staff went to, more than 250,000 restaurant locations were put on the map and millions of dishes were officially dubbed Nima-tested. Restaurant details in a side bar show what percentage of the menu is gluten-free and peanut-free, with reviews indicating whether individual items are safe for consumption.Credit NimaOne of our key values at Nima is data for decisions, Shireen Yates, CEO and co-founder of Nima, said in a press release. Our ultimate goal is the democratization and transparency of data as it relates to food allergens and this new pl atform brings us one step closer to our mission.Nima made clear that for their chain restaurant information, tests were not necessarily done at the location in a users area. Instead, the map uses data from one branch that is likely to apply elsewhere, as chain restaurants tend to have fairly standardized menus. Nima also warned against cross-contamination, which is a risk in high volume chain restaurants.